Monday, August 28, 2017
on turning 55
I'm turning 55.
It's kind of crazy for me and the thought that keeps going into my head is Marcie never got to be 55.
It's been almost 2 years since my big sister left this world, and I continue to think of her daily and worry about her kids and be proud of her kids and marvel in her grand kids and try to be there for Gary.
The emptiness of her death is always with me....but I don't cry every day any more. I still get choked up and have tears hit me at the weirdest time...at Dick's when getting groceries, at firework displays, pulling scones, swim days. I still think I'm going to turn the corner on Davis Blvd and see her. I still want to find out what book she is reading, her latest shoe purchase and I want to see what she is wearing to church. She always had such style.
I know that having Mom and Dad go to heaven all with in this two year span along with Marcie was so heavy and I was in such a fog for so long. I definitely have more clear days and less fog, but I need to learn to really just settle into the feelings. I have heard the saying.. "Lean in to the Suck".... this is what I'm trying to do and not just eat my feelings and numb it all.
As we head into our Bear Lake week I kind of ache for the good old days...when mom would make sandwiches on the beach and sit and paint, and Dad would wander back and forth, fully clothed, trying to stay in the shade and read and be on"flexible schedule" and Marcie would load her bags with theatre candy to share with all and hold on to the umbrella or shade to keep it from blowing away during the 4:00 winds.
Change happens. I get to be 55 and Marcie doesn't. We won't be making sandwiches on the beach ...atleast not as good as momma Sheri's, or painting, or hanging out in head to toe clothing, or eating theatre candy....but.....Everyone is making an appearance at Bear Lake this year.... and it's going to be awesome....boating, and reading, and raspberry shakes, and biking...and it's all good.
I feel I have had post- traumatic growth.....
As I get older I'm more grateful in my day, more gentle with people, and I don't want to waste my time not feeling, or not learning, not creating, not loving. Relationships take top priority.
It's kind of crazy for me and the thought that keeps going into my head is Marcie never got to be 55.
It's been almost 2 years since my big sister left this world, and I continue to think of her daily and worry about her kids and be proud of her kids and marvel in her grand kids and try to be there for Gary.
The emptiness of her death is always with me....but I don't cry every day any more. I still get choked up and have tears hit me at the weirdest time...at Dick's when getting groceries, at firework displays, pulling scones, swim days. I still think I'm going to turn the corner on Davis Blvd and see her. I still want to find out what book she is reading, her latest shoe purchase and I want to see what she is wearing to church. She always had such style.
I know that having Mom and Dad go to heaven all with in this two year span along with Marcie was so heavy and I was in such a fog for so long. I definitely have more clear days and less fog, but I need to learn to really just settle into the feelings. I have heard the saying.. "Lean in to the Suck".... this is what I'm trying to do and not just eat my feelings and numb it all.
As we head into our Bear Lake week I kind of ache for the good old days...when mom would make sandwiches on the beach and sit and paint, and Dad would wander back and forth, fully clothed, trying to stay in the shade and read and be on"flexible schedule" and Marcie would load her bags with theatre candy to share with all and hold on to the umbrella or shade to keep it from blowing away during the 4:00 winds.
Change happens. I get to be 55 and Marcie doesn't. We won't be making sandwiches on the beach ...atleast not as good as momma Sheri's, or painting, or hanging out in head to toe clothing, or eating theatre candy....but.....Everyone is making an appearance at Bear Lake this year.... and it's going to be awesome....boating, and reading, and raspberry shakes, and biking...and it's all good.
I feel I have had post- traumatic growth.....
As I get older I'm more grateful in my day, more gentle with people, and I don't want to waste my time not feeling, or not learning, not creating, not loving. Relationships take top priority.
We need each other
Laila has started at Bountiful High and I am finally on my LAST high school student.
This is cause for a LARGE celebration!! Bring on the balloons!
As I walk back into BHS, I have memories of my own sophomore year. Laila complains about her crappy drivers ed teacher and I commiserate because I had a crappy one too. She is excited about the dances and cheering at the games. I loved the dances too, and went to all of the football and basketball games. She shakes her head over the kids in her classes who get kicked out the first day of class or who are disrespectful to the teachers...I lived that too. The part she loves the most is hanging with all her friends....and what I loved the most was the kids I attended Bountiful High with. I spent two of those years with my sister Marcie. I met Wayne my sophomore year in my English class. I still see some of my high school friends around town and now with Facebook I have connected with many more.
I loved my high school years and look back on them fondly and as I Facebook "stalk" my old friends
what I’ve discovered is that life has treated us all pretty much the same. The cool kids, the jocks, the cheerleaders, the choir kids, the drama/debate bunch, the parking lot gang, the nerds and even the Homecoming Queen. We've gotten married, never married, gained weight, gone bald, been divorced, never had children, lost children, have children we love to the point of pain, suffered every ailment including cancer, been unemployed and employed in jobs we never thought we’d be doing in a million years. None of us has lived the life we expected to live when we roamed the halls at Bountiful High. Some of us are glad for that, others are frustrated, but we are all more humble. More forgiving of ourselves and others. More open to not knowing what the next moment holds and feeling grateful we're even here at all because a sad and surprising number of us have already died. After 30 years, we recognize we're more alike than we are different and in no small part because we embarked on our adult lives at the same moment -June 1980.
This is cause for a LARGE celebration!! Bring on the balloons!
As I walk back into BHS, I have memories of my own sophomore year. Laila complains about her crappy drivers ed teacher and I commiserate because I had a crappy one too. She is excited about the dances and cheering at the games. I loved the dances too, and went to all of the football and basketball games. She shakes her head over the kids in her classes who get kicked out the first day of class or who are disrespectful to the teachers...I lived that too. The part she loves the most is hanging with all her friends....and what I loved the most was the kids I attended Bountiful High with. I spent two of those years with my sister Marcie. I met Wayne my sophomore year in my English class. I still see some of my high school friends around town and now with Facebook I have connected with many more.
I loved my high school years and look back on them fondly and as I Facebook "stalk" my old friends
what I’ve discovered is that life has treated us all pretty much the same. The cool kids, the jocks, the cheerleaders, the choir kids, the drama/debate bunch, the parking lot gang, the nerds and even the Homecoming Queen. We've gotten married, never married, gained weight, gone bald, been divorced, never had children, lost children, have children we love to the point of pain, suffered every ailment including cancer, been unemployed and employed in jobs we never thought we’d be doing in a million years. None of us has lived the life we expected to live when we roamed the halls at Bountiful High. Some of us are glad for that, others are frustrated, but we are all more humble. More forgiving of ourselves and others. More open to not knowing what the next moment holds and feeling grateful we're even here at all because a sad and surprising number of us have already died. After 30 years, we recognize we're more alike than we are different and in no small part because we embarked on our adult lives at the same moment -June 1980.
In thinking back on these times and those people, I realize that we needed each other then and probably still need each other now.
Friday, August 25, 2017
How Soul Sisters came to be...
The idea for a women’s
retreat all began last May. May used to
be a great month for me. It was all
about celebrating my momma, Sheri. She
was born May 9th and with
Mother’s day always the 2nd Sunday of May, this month was positively tied up in warm
feelings about her. Well four years ago
on May 21st, after a valiant
fight with cancer, my sweet momma went to heaven. So now May is a bittersweet, happy, sad,
melancholy month.
Well this past May as I was sitting in my silky robe eating chocolate mudpie ice cream right out of the carton, thinking about my mom and feeling a
wee bit sorry for myself, I had a thought hit me like a pie in the face, which
sounds delicious by the way since Pie is my favorite. It was inspiration that I know was sent to
me by my angel momma… You are a born
gatherer and you need to be gathering women who need other women. This idea filled me with so much joy that
I put down my ice cream spoon and picked up my notebook to jot it down….
…and after taking a very unscientific Facebook poll about
women’s retreats for older, women, I realized there were many other
50 somethings out there who need connection and camaraderie; who want to Serve,
Observe, Uplift and Love just like me.
I call them my soul sisters.
Thus was born…. Soul
Sisters – a place for Fabulous Women over 50 !
Why over 50 you ask?
Well…………I won’t be checking birthdates and ID’s at the door….but the
over 50 part is to let anyone who wants to come to the retreat know who it’s
geared toward. It’s for the 50+, 60+,
70+ woman who needs a get away. Our
discussion topics will not be about new
mother skills, babies and school lunches, but more about staying active, helping young marrieds, aging
parents, and grand mothering.
Retreat ideas.....
Oh my beautiful ladies...do we have something wonderful in store for you.
I get it.
You love your family and children and home and maybe even work...but you need to break out of the rut. You need to do something for YOU.
Well as pioneer Brigham Young said, "This is the place!"
A Soul Sister Retreat will be good for your SOUL.
First Day. Check in after 4:00. We will gather at our place and get to your assigned room where there will be a surprise waiting for you. Just a little something, to let you know how wonderful you are. Once you are settled in, we will get to know one another over a delicious meal, share our stories and have a devotional all geared to helping women realize just how vital they are. Maybe a little Dance party before we hit the hay.
Get a good nights sleep, or stay up all night talking to your bunk mate...it's up to you.
Day 2: We are up with a motivational thought and a healthy, delicious breakfast, then a walk in Nature as we observe and appreciate God's gifts to us, followed by some yoga and stretching.
Get dressed and be ready for our first uplifting speaker. Topics could include: 5 love Languages, Color code, Energy Dressing, Creativity, Intuitive Eating, Supreme Self Care...all things I am passionate about.
Lunch
Afternoon is filled with Creativity and mini Classes. Get out of your comfort zone and learn something new. This could include painting, cooking, meditation, service.
Delicious Dinner, and more fun!
Night Speaker: Topic possibilities: Getting through hard times, Peace, Be your best self or How to live and Love your 2nd act!
Games - Hot tub....raid the pantry for more goodies...sleep or talk which ever you choose.
Day 3: Wake up for a walk in nature/ yoga/stretching then a wonderful Brunch. Final gathering. Depart by 10:00 all Rejuvenated, filled with love and good will with some new girl friends too.
So that's it. I'm doing this in memory of my sister Marcie and my momma Sheri...they would have loved something like this in their crazy, busy, short lives.
I get it.
You love your family and children and home and maybe even work...but you need to break out of the rut. You need to do something for YOU.
Well as pioneer Brigham Young said, "This is the place!"
A Soul Sister Retreat will be good for your SOUL.
First Day. Check in after 4:00. We will gather at our place and get to your assigned room where there will be a surprise waiting for you. Just a little something, to let you know how wonderful you are. Once you are settled in, we will get to know one another over a delicious meal, share our stories and have a devotional all geared to helping women realize just how vital they are. Maybe a little Dance party before we hit the hay.
Get a good nights sleep, or stay up all night talking to your bunk mate...it's up to you.
Day 2: We are up with a motivational thought and a healthy, delicious breakfast, then a walk in Nature as we observe and appreciate God's gifts to us, followed by some yoga and stretching.
Get dressed and be ready for our first uplifting speaker. Topics could include: 5 love Languages, Color code, Energy Dressing, Creativity, Intuitive Eating, Supreme Self Care...all things I am passionate about.
Lunch
Afternoon is filled with Creativity and mini Classes. Get out of your comfort zone and learn something new. This could include painting, cooking, meditation, service.
Delicious Dinner, and more fun!
Night Speaker: Topic possibilities: Getting through hard times, Peace, Be your best self or How to live and Love your 2nd act!
Games - Hot tub....raid the pantry for more goodies...sleep or talk which ever you choose.
Day 3: Wake up for a walk in nature/ yoga/stretching then a wonderful Brunch. Final gathering. Depart by 10:00 all Rejuvenated, filled with love and good will with some new girl friends too.
So that's it. I'm doing this in memory of my sister Marcie and my momma Sheri...they would have loved something like this in their crazy, busy, short lives.
Unscientific Monkey survey says....
I put together a survey to see if there is even a "need " for this type of women's retreat and I got an overwhelming YES...oh YES! I felt there was a need for something like this. Now to put it all together and make it WONDERFUL!
Soul Sisters 50 is launched!
This is the place for you
…if you need a time out
…if you want to get enlightened
…if you need to get away
…if you love delicious food
….if you need to find yourself ( you
probably didn’t know you were lost)
…if you like to learn
…if you want a spiritual boost
….if you need a dance break
….if you wanna have fun
…if you want to create
…if being in nature revitalizes you
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May retreat run down
May retreat May 19, 2018 Back row: Si, Dixie, Tammy, Karen Nickl, Kim, Connie, Lisa, Kathleen Front row; Melinda, Angela,...
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I am a lucky one. I have always had many friends. My sister is amazed by this, because making friends is harder for her. Making frien...
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I'm turning 55. It's kind of crazy for me and the thought that keeps going into my head is Marcie never got to be 55. It's be...
