May retreat run down

May retreat May 19, 2018

Back row:  Si, Dixie, Tammy, Karen Nickl, Kim, Connie, Lisa, Kathleen   Front row;  Melinda, Angela, Nan.  Missing from Pic:  Jill and Carole

My May Soul Sisters retreat is over and it was a beautiful gathering..  I’ve learned to turn this event over to the Lord and who ever comes or what happens at the retreat is His.  There is less worry and manipulation on my part and it brings me more peace as I move toward the unknown of will the ladies show up? Will they participate? Will they get along?  Will all of the “right “ things be said… Anyway, it was AWESOME.  There were 12 of us ( a last minute cancellation)  and it was the perfect amount for  our airbnb home.  The setting was the Dimple Dell , Sandy Utah area with open land and gorgeous mountains .  We found great walking trails each morning.

Kathleen Newman was my right hand woman…and she does such a great job making everything look just perfect.  She is a great cook and has energy for the set up and clean up part as well.  She is exceptional.  That was the word used to describe her by the other women of the retreat, over and over and it totally fits her. 

My sister Angela came  with a friend Connie Holt .  They shared a room and they have quite a lot in common.  Both married older , divorced men with 3 and 2 boys respectively.   They are strong  Red personalities with #4 energy dressing.   Angela is great at remembering my stories, so then I can tell them.  Connie is wise in her responses and a scriptorian. 

Lisa Anderson, Laura Belnaps little sister, came all the way down from Smithfield.  Lisa has had a difficult year with her husband’s health and her mom’s deteriorating health..daughter married, son moved out… So empty nest syndrome is big in her life.

My awesome friends, Si Foster, Kim Johnston came.  Both introverts who don’t like gatherings with new people..but both did great at being open and loving to all.

Nan Bruske, Jill Allsop and Carole Brown from my home ward all supported…and needed to be here for different reasons.  They were all so happy to have spent the time.

Tammy Siebert , who came to the Feb retreat came again to this one, with a different friend Dixie Munsee . Both from Mt. Green.  Both just wanting to connect, not knowing anyone else.  Such lovely women, with so much to give and so much wisdom.

Thursday night was all about great Plates and Palates saleads, home made coconut cake and sharing a story.  Everyone had atleast 5 minutes to share anything they wanted, some told how they met their husband, some gave a brief run down on their life and kids, some told a lesson learned,  what their own mother was like- good or bad or a difficult time.  I shared about the power of music and that it speaks to me.  Hymns come alive and say the exact things that I need to hear and it feels like Heavenly Father is communicating to me.   I talked about when my sons came out, and how Hymns lifted me .   We laughed a lot and cried some.  It’s good to be vulnerable and this time really does become sacred.

Friday morning up for an 8:00 walk in gorgeous weather, for those who wanted to.  Others slept a bit more, or got ready for their day.  We had a wonderful sausage egg burrito breakfast with salsa, guacamole and fruit.  Plus a little sweet roll on the side.  Kathleen made it all look gorgeous.  
My friend who was coming up to teach about YOGA and it’s benefits and what it has done for her in her life, couldn’t come up at the last minute, so I took over this task.  Good thing I started my at home yoga practice in March , so I had something to talk about and refer to.  I gave everyone yoga mats and we moved furniture and all talked about the benefits of stretching and balance as we get older and how valuable Yoga is.  Then I let them to Yoga with Adrienne a popular Youtube channel, and we went through a guided beginners practice.   I had Addison draw  up this Scripture... "This is the day which the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."  We talked about not making the every day so daily but choosing a task and dedicating it to Him... like laundry folding, lawn mowing, anything creative.  Let it be a time to meditate.

Lunch time was Healthy snack ideas led by healthy Kathleen.  She is an over achiever and has fun playing in the kitchen with her girls, so she brought frozen grapes, dates with pecans, made banana- berry ice cream, hummus, edamame, roasted chick-peas, home made lara bar, protein balls,  more protein balls, a chocolate chia pudding, and avocado toast.  Everyone tried and got food on their plate, then we all settled in for our speaker.

Karen Nickl came and told all about the psychology of   happiness and how we can actually change our body chemistry by working on  10 things:  Medication when necessary, eating fresh, exercise, sunlight, music, socialize, talk therapy, laughter, power pose, thought stopping, prayer/meditation and find a passion.  She is always excellent and I was amazed at some of the insights I had while she spoke.  I really liked the thought stopping techniques and prayer parts.   A big take away for allof us was the thought of being “hot and Happy.”

Karen was gracious and hung around after to field more questions and expand on some of her points.  It was so interesting and eye opening.

Next….Game playing, visiting, helping with meals…all good things.

We had a dinner of marinated chicken, roasted veggies and an apple- pear salad from Si’s blog. Si brought her tried and true chocolate chip cookies as our dessert.  They were a hit! 

Holly Reid was up next with her Ubuntu presentation  I am- because we are.  Which is basically that we are all in this together so we  need to love and support each other.  HELP each other, speak kindly about and lift and serve one another. Holly went all out with bracelets, pictures and an Ubuntu stick to inspire us all to use the saying, “I am….” In positive ways.   We circled up on the rug and took an all feet in the middle picture like the one taken with the African children.  It was beautiful.

We told funny stories and had a belly laugh or twenty…then couldn’t leave each other but kept talking and using all of words, then we crashed at midnight.

One more sleep , an early walk, breakfast of yogurt parfaits, fruit  and bagels with home made flavored cream cheese rounded out the meal.  We had a final recap of what everyone’s take away would be.  My cup is filled. 

article: Prisoner of my own vanity

https://www.thecut.com/2018/04/i-am-a-prisoner-of-my-own-vanity.html

How many hours does it take to make a friend.

This is a very interesting article.
https://phys.org/news/2018-03-reveals-hours-friend.html

My Love affair with New York

My love affair with New York City.

The first time I went to NYC I was a new 22-year-old teacher at Bountiful High school.   I went with a group of drama students on an educational tour between the Christmas- New Year holiday break.    We went and toured with other drama teachers and students from across the state.  

We stayed  or should I say "holed up" in the Edison Hotel,  on 47^th just off Times Square.  It was 1984 and the Edison had a beautiful old world lobby but the rest of the hotel  was really old world and not updated in the least.  I checked my four girl students  into their room, my one boy into his (that he shared with a student from another school), and then I wandered down a labyrinth of hallways where the ceiling got shorter and closer to the top of my head til I was let into a closet..I mean my room with a single bed and a tiny RV type bathroom.    The accommodations were kind of bleak, but the experience was out of this world.  Thus began my love affair with NYC. 

1984 was back  when NO one went into Central Park (too many drug deals and prostitutes) and before the Mayor and Disney had yet to reform Time Square and the theatre district.  There were many XXX theatres and pamphlets being handed out EVERYWHERE.  We were told to keep our eyes down and stay together in a group close.   My girl students were afraid, and so we did. My boy student- Craig Casper- was more adventurous and walked us through Central Park .  He was our protector.  He was probably 125lbs. dripping wet, but had been to this city with his father so he felt more secure and after the park walk he took us to Carnegie Deli for “real” German deli style cheesecake—and yes, it was amazing.  (I had gotten a piece at Carnegie Deli every trip until it closed in 2016. I mourned.)     I remember being in the Howard Johnsons (that was on Times Square but isn’t any more because of the Times Square Marriott)  and  when asked where we were from and  we said, “Utah” the waitress looked at my one boy student and four girl students and me  and said,  “Oh I get it polygamy.  Can I see your horns.?”  My students looked at me very confused.  Realizing that she thought we were all married to 16 year old Craig- made us  laugh hysterically.   

We saw Cats,  ( I was stunned by the dancing and how they decorated the theatre up so we were all small and it felt like we were in a garbage dump—giant shoes and drink bottles and cans.  It was very immersive)  La Cage Aux Folles, , A Neil Simon play and an off Broadway small musical. La Cage Aux Folles blew me away…such a  tender, bittersweet story and so amazing with all of the people in drag – some men and some women which kept everyone guessing til the end when they finally pulled their wigs off.  Astonishing. 

We came out of La Cage on New Years Eve and were trapped in a block jammed with too many people on Times Square.  We were  jostled, pushed and shoved, so we linked arms, kept our valuables close to our chests and waited for the ball to drop.  It was magical. Then within minutes after the ball drop a million people just disappeared and all that was left was  massive amounts of garbage and confetti.  By morning, even that was cleaned up.  

I couldn’t wait to get back to NYC…so two years later in the 1986  Christmas/New Years holiday,  I was there again, this time with Wayne.  We saw.. Smile,  Rumors,  Cats  ( again)  a little off broadway production that wasn’t memorable but the guy out front trying to sell us “coke and weed” certainly was.    We avoided the New Years Eve crush…staying on the side flow streets and watching the police horses rear up and keep the crowd at bay.   We saw bottles being thrown out of hotel windows and landing on people’s heads..one guy all bloodied…and one gentleman , who was soooo intoxicated, dropped his pants and shouted ,”Happy New Year,” at the top of his lungs.   Good times. We ate at a little Chinese restaurant with  real cats running around—not the costumed, dancing, jellical kind.

Times Square and NYC got  cleaned up and “Disney-ized” in the 1990’s. Thank goodness.  It made the place much more family friendly.   

I didn’t get back to NYC til 1996 and I’ve been going pretty consistently ever since. 

I have been with just Wayne or with different groups of friends - many times, with a  girlfriend, with my sisters and mom , with a BHS choir trip, taken the older boys with the Wangsgaards and Brady Bentley, taken the younger boys with Lindsey, taken Laila  and just recently I was there with  Truman.   

I love New York.   There is so much to see and do.

I love the energy.  

I love people watching.

I love hailing a cab. ( UBER is better now)

I love ALL of the theatre.

I love the food trucks.

I love scouting out the best “cheap” pizza in NYC.

I love following different foodies advice for the best this or that at restaurants.

I love the cheap shopping in China town -  I have bought too many purses, too many watches, sunglasses, pashminas and t shirts.

I love walking through the expensive 5th avenue high end stores..and I used to love going to H and M – which was only in New York, and Forever 21 – which was only in New York…but now they are everywhere.  I still love Zara.

I love walking through Central Park and watching the artists, the nannys with  strollers,  the zoo, the ice skating rink, the John Lennon memorial,  the lakes, the fountain, the bikers and  horse drawn carriages.

I’m okay with the subway..it doesn’t scare me…but I love walking the most.

I love walking the Brooklyn Bridge back into the City.

I love going to church there.

I love spending time in the museums.

I love the Statue of Liberty …seeing it up close or far away.

I love the romance of the Empire State Building, or going to the Top of the Rock and now the  One World Trade Center for outstanding views. 

So much to love and I want to share this with all of you.

I earned this face....

From Ladies, pass it on... https://ladiespassiton.com/2018/02/25/the-art-of-ageing-gracefully/

Think about it, you have EARNED this face.

Every line, a laugh shared.
Every wrinkle, a year survived.
Every age spot, a day that the sun shone on you.

Some women believe that as they age, they LOSE their looks. Oh my friends how wrong this is.
A beautiful young women is a happy accident of nature but a beautiful older woman? 
She is a work of art.

The Japanese have a practice whereby they fill any broken objects with gold, believing that something which is broken has earned its beauty and should be celebrated and decorated rather than discarded.

I feel this way about women.

It took a long time to find out who you really truly are. A long time. The acceptance that old age brings is freeing. It brings with it peace and happiness. 
Everyone knows, happiness looks good on us all.

Your body has been changing since the day you were born and will continue till the day you depart. Ride with it, accept it, embrace it. Be amazed by it.

Allow your face to represent your life, your stories, your joys.

Why choose to look like an older woman with a facelift chasing youth, when you could look like an older women who knows what she is worth and has earned every minute of her kick-ass self-acceptance.

THE TRICK WITH AGE-ING SUCCESSFULLY, IS TO PAY AS LITTLE ATTENTION TO IT AS POSSIBLE.

Donna Ashworth

St. George Winter Retreat

White capped mountains against the Red Rock is gorgeous.  We wanted to retreat in St. George because of the great weather...and we FROZE.  It was so cold and snowed a little bit, but we did get outside and walked both 25 degree mornings. 

We stayed at the Gather house which was in a a really tight subdivision, off the Washington Parkway, filled with homes...but ours looked out onto wilderness and we lived off the back of the house, so it was perfect.  Plus it was decorated so cute!  Every bedroom had it's OWN bathroom.  

So Many lovely women came to play.. Back row:  Becky Farley - our Mindfulness and Meditation teacher, Laureen Carlsen- Miss Personality, Jacki Taylor- who tells it like it is, Darlene House- full of energy and love, Kimi Farley- my right hand and all around great gal, Me.  Front Row:  Tammy Siebert- so kind and caring, Danine Davis- Fit and ready for adventure, Annett Pond- Miss WOW and Laura Belnap-- who knows everyone...or made some kind of connection.

We gathered on Thursday night in this really FUN house.   We prepared cafe rio type salads and did 2 truths and a lie ice breaker to begin getting to know each other.   Then we gathered for Story time where everyone gets to share a story from their life.  What ever they want to talk about for 7 minutes.  We learned about adoption, how I met my husband, one of my funny kisses,  how kids say the darndest thing, gay kids, kids in jail, moving a lot,  chicken capers....you name it we shared about it.  

In attendance  were some of my old friends,  two ladies that came together from Mountain Green but didn't know anyone else there, another lady that my friend brought down from her work, and another lady that came who didn't know anyone.  She just wanted an adventure!  I'm always to impressed with the courage it takes to jump into a fairly intimate situation with strangers.  BUT  I know that within a few minutes, personal barriers are brought down and we see that we have more in common that we do different.  It's a beautiful thing to witness.

 Day two brought an early morning walk in the frigid sunshine, learning about whole hearted living and then jumping in with both hands in to a painting project to get everyone out of their comfort zones and to practice creativity and not living in comparison.

 Lots of good tunes from the 70's and 80's plus a little Adele thrown in, kept us grooving and moving.

I love this paining project.  I know some of the women don't, but it's so interesting to see how different women tackle it.  

 THE SNOW came back.   It was beautiful to watch out out deck.  We stayed inside and learned about Mindfulness and Meditation from a wonderful teacher- Becky Farley.  She has a gift and is so engaging and supporting to everyone as we all tried to wrap our minds and spirits around the art of mediation.  She put us all through a guided meditation at the end, that put some of us to sleep-- it was that relaxing.  We all promised to at least practice the breathing part of this mindfulness at red stop lights!

 That night Debbie Zockoll came and spoke to us.  She  has run 268 marathons in the past 4 decades.  She has run every single St. George Marathon  sometimes pregnant, sometimes in the middle of chemo...she has also beat cancer twice... in 2005 and 2016-- and ran marathons those years as well.  She really is inspiring and not intimidating.  Such a beautiful soul.

 We laughed and cried and shared and supported and ate and laughed some more.     The Sun came up and it was time to head out.  Lots of hugs and we all drove off into the SUNSHINE

The Gather house left a polaroid camera for our use... by the time I figured it out I didn't get a picture of Every lady... we are missing two.... of the pictures but they are not missing in our hearts and memories.  Yay for Soul Sisters.

Soul Sisters defined